Mario Galaxy Review: 1/10

Never before have I seen a title of such great importance continue to fall from grace with each successive installment. We all have glowing memories of playing Mario 64 at a Toys R’ Us kiosk back when the revolutionary title released alongside the Nintendo 64 in ‘96, but like Super Mario Sunshine before it, Mario Galaxy represents a significant regression for the franchise.

While other publications are being handsomely rewarded for their stellar reviews of Mario Galaxy courtesy of Iwata himself, Sony Defense Force is not paid or endorsed by any commercial interests. This is the only website where you will find genuine, unadulterated impressions of the year’s most hyped titles. Unfortunately, Mario Galaxy is marred with numerous gameplay decisions that ultimately have me questioning what Nintendo was doing for the years they spent developing the title.

One of the primary faults of the game deals with the simplistic gameplay. Mario Galaxy’s formula for game design can be summed up as follows:

1. Randomly place normal items (apples, jars, bugs) in outer space.

2. Have mario waggle his way from each small planetoid by either collecting one of five items, destroying all the enemies on the planet, or finding a way to unlock a star pad.

3. Eventually you will manage to waggle your way to the end planet, where you will have to perform some simplistic task in order to attain a star.

Repeat this process 120 times, and you have Mario Galaxy summed up quite well. While Mario 64 boasted of large, expansive environments, Galaxy mainly has Mario traversing the smallest land masses imaginable in a very linear fashion. After the first few stars, the average player will get tired of this repeated gameplay process. It must be noted that the game appears to be limited by last-gen hardware. The Wii/Gamecube just simply isn’t capable of rendering large, open environments in HD. Perhaps if Mario Galaxy were on the PS3, they’d be able to create a truly next-gen mario because Galaxy looks marginally upgraded from 64 which was released over 11 years ago.

Another flaw is that the combat mechanics are also in desperate need of revision. While games like Uncharted are making the combat an engaging experience, Mario Galaxy’s combat involves jumping on enemies heads or waggling your waggle-stick for a waggle-attack. Perhaps this would work well if the core gameplay itself was challenging or difficult; but it’s not. The game appears to be designed for a 4 year old. It’s easier than the original Mario on the NES.

Overall, to say Mario Galaxy is a disaster is an understatement. If you’re an easily amused child with a hard-on for nostalgia, pick up Mario Galaxy. Otherwise, if you’re an intelligent gamer that is interested in a real videogame experience, pick up a Playstation 3 and have a turn at Uncharted, easily this year’s best.

Link : http://www.sonydefenseforce.com/?p=318#comment

*Quick Reply based on title*

Wow, I thought they'd give a -1/10. They're getting soft.

*reads review*

hahaha. I love that site. its so funny.

LOLOL I friggin love that site :D Such a shame that it had to be owned by non-ps3 fanboys :( Oh well... still great for laughs :D

Technically, any game can boil down to

1. Start game
2. Press correct button sequence
3. Repeat for every stage
4. ????
5. Profit!

That'd be a hyperbole...

Everything looks in order here...

But how did it get a 1?

It should of gotten that well deserved ZERO.

"Another flaw is that the combat mechanics are also in desperate need of revision. While games like Uncharted are making the combat an engaging experience, Mario Galaxy’s combat involves jumping on enemies heads or waggling your waggle-stick for a waggle-attack"

^ My favorite; how do they come up with these things? Is leo-j an editor?

 Remember it is good for 4 year olds :/ so at least it's good for some age.

crazy---how many times can they fit waggle into a review?